I sit here on fathers day and reflect over the last 5 years that has gone by. I can honestly say that what has happend over the last five years is a far cry from what I would have ever imagined it to have been. To imagine that would be still married and still own my own home with the big yard in the back for the kids to play in is just now a memory of what was. The question that always seems to pop up form people is, "If you had a chance to go back and change the past, would you?" Surpriingly my answer is always no. Yes, I am far from were I imagined myself to be at this point in my life but it molded my life to what it is now. I beleive everything happens for a reason, it is just that you need to realize that there is another book for you... It just hasn't been writen yet.
I may have gotten a divorce, which alot of people seem to do these days, but its not the end of the world. A lot of people become bitter about it and hate their ex because of it, but why? Whats the point? As I sit here I can still say that I care for and still have a love Michelle even though its not the same love that I had for her when we were together. She is a unique and a exceptional person to be with but our paths went into different directions at some point. It's a learning experience that I have gone through and with out it I wouldn't be whom I am today. I look at it with the veiw that I have two great kids from which I love and wouldn't be here if I hadn't gone through it.
My kids mean the world to me now and are the biggest part of my life. It's funny to think that at one point I never wanted children. Now that they are here I just say that I wouldn't know what I would do with out them. To see them for the first time, to hold them in your arms for the first time just changes you. I won't say that it's all like a beautiful flower garden and smells like roses... trust me there are times that things smell far from roses with children. However to have them love you unconditionally though they can be mad with you at times is all worth it. You have so much fun with them that time seems to pass by without you even reaizing it. Like I was spending part of Saturday at my Ex-Mother-In-Laws house putting my building skills to use once again building her spa-barn; I couldn't help smiling while watching my kids play. Watching them smile and laugh just brought back a lot of great memories. Seeing Noelle playing off as if she is a therapist and acting older than what she really is. Christopher just looking like he is growing up to be a young little man and not just a little boy any more. Watching them and remembering all of the memories just brought me to thinking that it just seems like yesterday that Noelle was brought home from the hospital and just a moment ago that Christopher was born. I wouldnt trade the last 5 years for anything and that is all that matters to me.
So here is to all the fathers and soon to be fathers out there.... I hope your time with your children is just as memorable and delightful as mine has been and to the many more memories to come! Happy Fathers day to all!
