Another busy weekend with emotions.

Wells its been another busy weekend. Friday I got up like I usually do to feed Christopher. Just slightly after getting up with Christopher, Noelle decided it was time to get up and start the day as well. So I sat on the couch with the two for a while then it was getting time to give them a bath. We had a lot going on for the weekend so I needed to get started early. So I gave Christopher a bath and fed him a bottle. While he was now in a formula induced trance and sleeping, it was time to give Noelle a bath. So Noelle got her bath and was all cleaned up I put on her favorite cartoon, Sponge Bob. So she sat there watching her movie while I took my shower and got ready. By the time it was all said and done it was getting on one or so and had to call Michelle to see what time I had to pick her up from work. Well finding out that I had to pick her up at 3:15 wasn't very good news to hear. At that time the freeways are congested with traffic and with my luck there might even be an accident that I would have to try to dodge. Well knowing how the traffic conditions are I left at 2:50 so that I would have time to get there on time. Sure as I called it, there was an accident. The hard part is always trying to predict where they are going to take place. It just happened to be that I was in the far most inner lane when I came up to the backup traffic when it came to a screeching halt. At that time it was already to late to get over to one of the exits to get off, so I could only do what all the other commuters where doing, just wait it out. So as you can imagine I was late picking up Michelle, so then in turn all of the other timed events that followed was off. At the end of all of this I still had to go to work.

I was able to get off work a little early, so like my co-workers and I seem to do on a Friday when we get off early; group therapy. Well its not really what it sounds. Generally we take turns and buy spirits from the Circle K across the street and when we are all off the clock we circle our cars together, turn up some music and unwind a bit before going home. After some time has passed it was time to head home, but instead of heading to my apartment I was heading up to my mother-in-laws house. By the time i got there it was about two, found out that their A/C was on the fritz again. It wasn't to bad, the window was open and there was a fan drawing in the cooler air. I can tell you one thing though, soon as my head of hit the pillow I was out. I think that the lack of sleep was getting to me.

Saturday morning, Michelle woke me up to get around for a birthday party that we had to go to. That's one reason that we spent the night there. The birthday party was in that neck of the woods. Anyhow, it was about sevenish I think. Still tired, I got up and got around. While Michelle was in the bathroom she had me dressed the kids. About this time I was starting to get a little flustered. It just seemed to me that I do a lot more with the kids than She does at times. I know that its not necessarily true though. There are times than she does more with them then I as well. Its a balance that I feel that just isn't always balanced. In the back of my mind I was upset that I had to get them around; and get myself around, just to go to a party that I didn't have a clue who the people were and really wasn't up to par in going anyway. So I just bottled my frustration like I always do, bit my toung and went anyway. The party was OK, I talked to a couple of people and was introduced to a few people. I don't really remember who they are and the relationship between them. Then my wife finally made up her mind that she wanted to go to the Wild Life Zoo with the kids. We had talked about a week earlier about it and was undecided on it. At first it was the uncles that was in town, and how we should go see them while they were here, then its well we should go to the zoo and that Noelle would like it. Well when she said that she was going to the zoo, was when i was letting her know that she can go, and I would like to go home and sleep. So that's what ended up happening. I went home, and she went to the zoo.

Later on that night she got home from the zoo, we put the kids to bed and we followed shortly behind them. Sunday rolled around and I was up with Christopher a few times during the night. It was still early in the morning yet, and I was in an affectionate mood and was trying to show some affection to them wife but was rejected like always. Its nothing new, so a little upset about that I went down stairs and went into shutdown mode. I started to clean the apartment. Its a funny how I take my frustration and channel it into something productive. Later on it was back to the mother-in-laws house for Michelle and her twin sisters early birthday party. Then afterwards it was over to Michelle's dads' house. You kinda get the picture.

On the drive home I was once again reminded of how much I complain by my wife. The truth is, I do complain a lot. Even if you reread this you will find a little bit of complaining in it. The truth is I know that I complain a lot. I don't need to be reminded of it time again. Deep down my complaining comes from years of not being able to be heard. Over years of anguish being bottled up and no one to vent it with, its just now become to a point to were mentally its all coming out. Like my wife, I am complaining right now because i don't feel that she listens to me. She knows when I am upset, but she doesn't take the time to really listen why I am up set with her. The main thing is that in our marriage over the last four years that we have been married I feel that I have busted my balls and sacrificed a lot for her. The thing is, it just seems like everything that I have done for her and continue to do for her just gets over looked. I was talking on the phone with her the other day and was telling her what I have accomplished within the day while she was at work. I don't normally do so, but I did. I get the response that I was productive, then I respond that i am always productive. She just then says ya, uh-hm. Well news flash I am always productive; unless I point it out like she does to me it just gets over looked. Then the biggest part of any ones marriage, the physical relationship. Lets just say that its a big disaster and there is a real lack of a physical relationship. What can I say I have to respect her wishes and what she wants. In the end I seem to feel like I get the short end of the stick. There are parts of me that wish that I would have moved on long ago, then there is the realistic truth that Michelle completes me. We have our moments that we just need our space, then there are the moments that I wish that she would understand where I am coming from and realize that I am human and have feelings and needs.

The Fort!

Well today was the second day that Michelle has been back to work. Well, she could have been back to work a lot sooner but her work was saying that they couldn't give her the hours. Well it was a crock for as I was concerned. On Monday, she had a talk to her District Manager. He was letting her know of a possible new position that he wanted her to take. I hope that she does, but Michelle has some doubts that she might not be able to do the job.


Well this morning I got with Christopher; it was about five thirty or so, and Michelle was practically at work, I here this little cry from Noelle up stairs. Well she thought that she would be able to sneak in Mommy and daddy's bed. Well to her surprise we were not there. So she started shout for Mommy. Its so funny when she does it though. Well I called up to her and let her know that I was down stairs feeding her brother. So she came down the stairs and see whats up.

Well she came down stairs and found a box in her way to me. Then she saw the cat go in the box - at this point the box was on its side - so she followed suit and when it the box as well. She seemed to be having fun with it, so why not let her. It was kinda one of those moments where the kids are sitting around the Christmas tree and opening presents, and the kids are done opening all of there presents and start playing with the boxes instead of the toys. Ya, it was like one of those moments. After a few minutes pass she comes up to me and asked me to build her a fort. She knows what a fort is only because her uncle and aunt introduced her to them trying to play house with her. In all reality I really didn't want to build her one, only because I was just a little tired yet. It was just how she asked it was got me. She pulled up all the stops and brought out the big guns. She tilted her head just so slightly and pouted her lips and just stared at me with her big bright blue eyes and asked, "Daddy will you please build me a fort, please daddy, please." That's all it took. I will somehow will have to learn how to build a defense on an attack like this. Otherwise I will be in some serious trouble latter on!


Well so I got the utility knife out and a big roll of packaging tape and went to town. By the time I was done she had a pretty decent sized box fort. It looked pretty good if I would say so myself. Soon as i was done it wasn't even two seconds she already was crawling in there and bringing her dolls and puppy (her stuff animal security blanket) with her. She came back out and said that it was dark in there and couldn't see, so I cut a couple windows in the top that served a dual purpose, one to let light in and second so that I can see her in there. When I talked to my wife about nine or so, she was telling me that Noelle was going to town with it. There was just when one problem, it was too dark again. So my wife fixed the problem by putting one of those glade fake scented candles in there and I guess it lite it up like a lantern while camping. I am pretty sure that had a lot of fun with it.



Here is a very crude example that I came up with the two empty boxes that I had. It wasn't much but it was very thing to my daughter. Who knew that a couple of boxes could give endless fun to a two year old. I can only imagine when little Christopher is old enough to play what kind of things that they are going to get them selves into.

Faith VanDyke

It was just the other night as I was cleaning and going through boxes that was left over from moving, I found some pictures of Noelle that I took of when she was younger. It instant reminded me of the journey that I have experienced and some of the people that helped me get through the tough times. One person that instantly came to my mind was the branch secretary at my old place of work in Kalamazoo Mi. She was a very strong will person to say the least, and there were times that her and I got into spats. Looking back at it now, I only see it as a growing and learning experience. She brought new ideas and different ways to view things that helped out in many situations. I haven't seen or heard from her sense her early retirement; if I remember it right, I think that it was back in 2004 or 2005. It’s been some time anyway. She took early retirement because of medical reasons, but if there was one thing that I learned from her was to cherish the moments that you have with your children and or grandchildren in her case. I don't necessarily know if she can read this but I know that she is with me in spirit.


The last time that I saw her she wasn't doing so well and I heard that she had moved in with her sister in St. Joesph in Michigan. That's the last i had heard of her. Though I would say that she is one of the many influential people of my life; she is missed, and she is always with me in the memories that we had shared, the good and the bad.

Its the weekend!

Well its been a very fast pace week. Having to go to work and run around doing this and that has seemed to pass the time very quickly. Like Friday, I got home about three thirty or so from work and walking around downtown phoenix taking pictures of random stuff and see how it would turn out. Anyhow I got home, and to my surprise Michelle was up with little Christopher just feeding him and trying to get him back to bed. So I decided to get a bite to eat real fast and have some conversation with my wife for a little while. After some time passed I headed to my bedroom to crash for a while, but on my way up the stairs miss Noelle thought it was time to get up, so instead of fighting to get her back in bed, I gave her an invite to our room to sleep. Obviously she took that offer as fast as she could.

After what seemed to be just minutes it was time to get back up and get going again. Christopher had his one month shots and check at the doctors. He did alright with the shots and stuff, but to my amazement he is now ten pounds. So in about two weeks he has gained about three pounds. I personally couldn't tell you if that is good news or not. The positive thing is that he is growing and that's what counts.

Well its now about five fifteen and its time to go back to bed again. I feel that I need to do some thing special with the wife today, given that she has been couped up in this apartment all week and been watching Christopher for the majority of the time. Maybe I can get Grampa or Grama to watch the kids.

nite.

A hard morning

Well the wife had her first day back to work today. That meant that I had both kids for the whole day by myself. So far I have had a rough morning. I got home two thirty this morning from work and went to bed. It wasn't before to long Michelle was getting up for work so that she could catch the bus. At the same time Christopher was waking up letting me know that it was time to change his diaper and feed him. Well I managed to change his diaper with out a problem. While I was doing that Michelle went down stairs to make him a bottle for me. So Michelle hand me the bottle after I got comfortable with him and then turn on the TV for me so that I wouldn't be board out of my mind. It took Christopher about forty five minutes before he was just about finally done. At the same time Michelle was heading out the door to catch the bus. Just when I thought that I would be able to get back to bed, here come Noelle down the stairs looking for mommy. Now you have to remember that this was about four forty five when she came down the stairs. I simply told her that mommy had to go to work and will be back soon and tried to get her back in bed. Well that failed, only because she was hungry.

Well its now going on ten and Noelle still is up I have had to feed Christopher twice since then. He still doesn't seem to want to go back to sleep. I believe that he is still a little bound up because of the iron that is in the formula. So I feed him about a ounce of good old apple juice. Well I already know that it will give a baby the most nastiest diaper that any body will have to change, but if it will help him have a bowel movement I am game.

Lets seem what happens, all I can do now is wait. I just hope that I can get some shut-eye before I have to go to work next.

My mother-in-law called up on Saturday morning and asked if she could have them for the night. Well with the lack of sleep and at wits end, Michelle and I didn't even hesitate at the proposal. So she came over and picked up the kids. When she came to pickup the kids she asked if we wanted to go to lunch with her. It was a nice gesture of her, and mike had been wanting to go to Joe Crab Shack, so we decided to go there for lunch. So we went to the one that is located near the Arizona Mills Mall by the 10 and 60.

We get there and was seated just as soon as we entered the door of the place. We sat there a reasonable amount of time and was greeted by our waiter. We place our drink order and appetizers. He later came back with our drinks and forgot straws for us. When he came back with the appetizers we asked for them, and he apologized for it. He then took our order for our entrees. When they he the table we all started to eat like we would normally. I bit into mt burger that I ordered, and found that it was medium-rare. I am sorry, but I can't for the life of me eat a burger that even has the tint of pink in it. So I ate the edges and fries that came with it and called it good enough. Personally I would have thought that the waiter would have asked that I wanted it done. Later on we found that wasn't the case, that it comes like that and you have to pipe up and say how you want it. Michelle ordered something, I don't know what exactly, but it was very tasteless until the last bit were she had bitten in to something that was pure spice. My mother-in-law ordered something that was made of tuna, it was tasteless as well.

After everything was said and done, I wasn't very impressed with the place and probably won't return there again. Specially after have been in the restroom the rest of the night from what i ate there.

Later on, Michelle and I went to the movies and saw a double feature. We first saw the House Bunny. It was alright, funny at times. Then we saw Death race. I can say if I had a third thumb I would give three thumbs up. It was a very action packed movie and there was more to it than I imagined. When were done with movies we went home and went to bed. Michelle woke up about nine or so, I on the other hand slept to two in the afternoon. Michelle came up stairs and asked if i was going to get up and put up the ceiling fans that my mother-in-law brought over. Well I put up one of the two that she brought over. Then got ready to go to the first of two get together
that we were invited to.

The first of two was over at Troy and Nicole's house. We were there about five and were there until about seven and headed over to the father-in-laws house. His party started at four, so we were just moderately late. It was alright though. Most of the people that was there already had to much to drink. It was alright though. When we walked in we just caught the end of Daren singing his song. I was glad of that. Every time he is there he likes to sing which isn't a problem. The problem is that he only sings one song. The first time that he sings it he is always moderately sober, but as time goes by he comes back and signs it again when he has slammed some beer back. Needless to say he isn't very good the first time around not alone the second. The real thing is that he only sings the one song and that's annoying in itself.

As for to nignt, Christopher is sleeping alright he has only gotten up, a couple of times but he is getting better.