Monday, April 13, 2009

home sickness and memories

I see that its been a long time sense I have posted anything to my blog. Looking to the last entry it has something to do with my father-in-laws holloween patry. Which I may so myself, was the best party that you could have attended. If you where not there you missed out on alot of fun.

Time is sure flying by though. Alot of things have been done sense then as well. The kids are getting bigger like kids do. Christopher is a monster! Weighing in at a outstanding 21 lbs, I think that he can hold his own. Though I can still remember when he was just shy of 7 lbs in the hospital, he is starting to grow up to be a little boy in front of my very eyes. Noelle on the same token, though she still weighs the 29 lbs that she has weighed for the last year; she's becoming quite the character. She now knows her abc's and is counting 1-15 without a problem; and is continuing her skills at coloring. What more can I say, they are my kids. I may have my moments of frustration like any other parent, but I love them dearly.

Its been a little more than a year and a half now sense I have moved here to Phoenix. Though I am now starting to get used to the desert land scape, it just doesn't feel like home to me. I grew up amoung the trees, rivers, lakes and snow; can't forget to mention that. There are things that I miss from where I grew up that I keep dear to my heart. I remember when I was young and the time that I spent in the woods with my dad; we built a watch tower from the ground up with only trees and rope. Oh, the fun that I had on that. I would just climb to the top of it and just laydown, looking at the clouds and dreaming about what the future may hold. I guess its the memories that I hold as my childhood is what really holds me there as home.

Talking with my mom, I have found life has pretty much kept on going like it does. I have heard that my youngest sister is getting married. I am happy that she has found someone. I knew of whom is marrring from boyscouts when I was younger, but I don't know much about him now, only the tid bits that I hear. Though its none of my bussiness I would hope that my sister would wait a little longer to get married. I just feel that he she might be rushing into it and she might need to get some other prioritys in balance first. I hope that my sister reads this and understands my concern.

One thing that I can proudly say is that I am glad for my brother. My brother has come along way. I heard he bought his first house, which is a very big deal far as I am concerned. I have also been informed that he might be getting married as well. Wether it is going to happen or not is still in the air I guess. I am not sure whats going on there. One thing that I can say about my brother, I just never got his choice in woman.

As for the rest of my siblings, I have no clue to what my oldest sister is doing. Of what I do know she has had another kid, and was pregnant with a third. When she was due I never knew. I never really dealt with her much. I was never really close to her for alot of reasons. Many that I will just not say, because there is just no point in the matter. Maybe in time the wounds of the past can be healed and for a first, just be close.

I never really thought that I would say this, but the most of all that is missed is the house that I grew up in. I do mean what I said though. It would be the last thing that I would have ever thought that I would have missed. Growing up, my family never really had money. The house that we lived in was small and dated. As time went by the house fell into disrepair. When one thing went wrong and was repaired something else went wrong. Thats just the way it was. We never really had the money to put back into the house that we lived in to keep it in good repair. To this day the house still needs help. In the end, it was never really how bad the house was, it was just the fact that it was my home. I saw a picture of it when I was going through the photos that I was backing up. I took the picture just before I left and moved here. The picture just struck me, and I just staired at it for a long while. It was just one of those moments that caught my mind off guard and my head just got flooded with memories that I had. Just that one picture alone that has prompted me to write this posting. The home that I grew up in, just wasn't a home; it was a foundation of to whom that I am today.

Bring up memories, just brings up all the things that loved doing there. I am glad to say that I am starting to get back into one that I loved which was bicycleing. I am still not ready for the big distances yet and I am working on that. I have had some health difficulty with in the last few monthes that I have Seen doctors for, and now; on the medication roller coaster. Tough its a demon in my closet that I don't like to talk about. I was was diganosed with ulcerative colitis back in 99. I have been dealing with it ever sense. Well reality has come about again and now I am back in the mercy of the doctors. When i was first diganosed my colon had only a fraction of the disease. Now just having another colonoscopy performed, I have been told that now my entire colon is now diseased. I don't know where that puts me standing at the moment, but I am just now waiting to see the doc one more time to be filled in the rest of the way. Mean while, I am taking the meds that was prescribed, and making me feel really drained from it like before. This is really putting a damper on my spirits and my goals of riding to work on a daily basis. I have tried it a couple of times. At the end of the day I was so exauhsted that I had to stop. I just couldn't handle it yet. So I am going to take it one step at a time.

Well its getting late and I am now starting to feel tired. I am going to try to make it my goal to keep this updated a little more often for my family members back home.

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